The din of anti-corruption protests have reached a crescendo across India. The ‘Anna-archy’ prevailing in the country since August 16 has taken such a centrestage that, going by the media channels, nothing else seems to be happening in the country. Everybody is in a frenzy- Team Anna, all their supporters, the Government, the opposition, the detractors of Anna and of course the news channels. But nobody is clear yet as to where this will end eventually.
Imagine for a moment that sometime in the rosy future, the last evil remnants of corruption have been rooted out from the nation. You’re in Utopia, where everyone is a squeaky- clean, law abiding citizen. By some magic mechanism, every bribe-taker and bribe-giver can be immediately caught and sent behind bars for their heinous offense. So nobody is taking any chances. What will life be like then ?
Imagine.
You’ve just been pulled over for overspeeding, but your story about your mother being taken to the hospital cuts no ice with the traffic constable. And that 50- or 100-rupee note no longer wields any power on him either. Oh, joy ! Several days have passed since your electricity has been disconnected for failure to pay an astronomical bill, which was due to a faulty meter. But you have no option other than to wait your turn till the inspector from the company arrives and checks the damn device. Till then, its darkness for you and your family. Jeez !
You dread the day when you will have to stand in the long queue in sweltering heat for your driving license renewal, due next year. The loathsome touts who had saved you a lot of time and trouble for a small fee are nowhere to be found. Bother ! You’ve already made six trips to the Sub-Registrar’s office to get your property registered, only to be turned back for some lacuna or the other in the papers. You clench your teeth as you wish there was someone to guide you through this inscrutable maze. Help !
A lot has changed since bribery and corruption breathed its last. Many businesses have shut shop, as they simply do not know how to go on in this new world where nobody influences anybody. The piles of files in the Govt. offices are growing larger by the day, as the babus are awfully fearful of clearing them ‘too quickly’. The elite private schools and colleges have seen a sharp drop in their standards, and some are even on the verge of closure. The steady dose of ‘capitation fees’ have dried up, and with it all their vital signs have been dwindling.
Gold prices have dipped sharply, and so have property values. The parallel economy which was driving their demand has sputtered to a stop. Eating out is a big problem for folks now, as thousands of roadside eateries and restaurants had to down shutters for failing to meet hygiene standards. Airlines, luxury car makers and five-star hotels are hard hit as the flow of black money has ebbed and nearly vanished from their catchment areas.
Several construction contracts are still to see the light of the day because of strict procedures and lengthy tendering processes, seriously hampering infrastructure development. But most worryingly, a large number of defence purchase programs, vital for the country’s security, have been gathering dust since the middlemen turned their backs and are avoiding the country like the plague.
That was just a dream. Or a nightmare. But this scenario is surely from the eyes of a treacherous, slimy, corrupt person about to lose his livelihood.
Back to reality. The corrupt still rule the roost. In fact, they’ve composed a song for themselves, with a kind of pied-piper melody, which they are seriously thinking of making it their national anthem. It is simply called “Just bribe me, baby”, and here are its lyrics :
Just bribe me, baby
At times when you wan’t it done
Just come to me, I’m the only one
Don’t run around and drive yourself crazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me, baby
You’ve a problem, and I’ve the key
I’ve the glasses that’ll make you see
When everything seems so hazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby
Show me the color of money
It’s so sweet as nectar and honey
It sure gives a boost, it gives speed
Money makes the world go round indeed
Don’t be shy, and grease my palms
For your pain I’ve all the balms
So shake yourself and don’t be lazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby
Leave it to me, and gimme some graft
Cause I got the guile and I got the craft
Go it alone, and you’ve no chance
I’ll make you sing, and I’ll make you dance
Life is short, you’ve a lot to do
Why bother when you don’t have to ?
Do me a favor, just pass on the gravy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby !
Endpiece : The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference.
- Bess Myerson
Imagine for a moment that sometime in the rosy future, the last evil remnants of corruption have been rooted out from the nation. You’re in Utopia, where everyone is a squeaky- clean, law abiding citizen. By some magic mechanism, every bribe-taker and bribe-giver can be immediately caught and sent behind bars for their heinous offense. So nobody is taking any chances. What will life be like then ?
Imagine.
You’ve just been pulled over for overspeeding, but your story about your mother being taken to the hospital cuts no ice with the traffic constable. And that 50- or 100-rupee note no longer wields any power on him either. Oh, joy ! Several days have passed since your electricity has been disconnected for failure to pay an astronomical bill, which was due to a faulty meter. But you have no option other than to wait your turn till the inspector from the company arrives and checks the damn device. Till then, its darkness for you and your family. Jeez !
You dread the day when you will have to stand in the long queue in sweltering heat for your driving license renewal, due next year. The loathsome touts who had saved you a lot of time and trouble for a small fee are nowhere to be found. Bother ! You’ve already made six trips to the Sub-Registrar’s office to get your property registered, only to be turned back for some lacuna or the other in the papers. You clench your teeth as you wish there was someone to guide you through this inscrutable maze. Help !
A lot has changed since bribery and corruption breathed its last. Many businesses have shut shop, as they simply do not know how to go on in this new world where nobody influences anybody. The piles of files in the Govt. offices are growing larger by the day, as the babus are awfully fearful of clearing them ‘too quickly’. The elite private schools and colleges have seen a sharp drop in their standards, and some are even on the verge of closure. The steady dose of ‘capitation fees’ have dried up, and with it all their vital signs have been dwindling.
Gold prices have dipped sharply, and so have property values. The parallel economy which was driving their demand has sputtered to a stop. Eating out is a big problem for folks now, as thousands of roadside eateries and restaurants had to down shutters for failing to meet hygiene standards. Airlines, luxury car makers and five-star hotels are hard hit as the flow of black money has ebbed and nearly vanished from their catchment areas.
Several construction contracts are still to see the light of the day because of strict procedures and lengthy tendering processes, seriously hampering infrastructure development. But most worryingly, a large number of defence purchase programs, vital for the country’s security, have been gathering dust since the middlemen turned their backs and are avoiding the country like the plague.
That was just a dream. Or a nightmare. But this scenario is surely from the eyes of a treacherous, slimy, corrupt person about to lose his livelihood.
Back to reality. The corrupt still rule the roost. In fact, they’ve composed a song for themselves, with a kind of pied-piper melody, which they are seriously thinking of making it their national anthem. It is simply called “Just bribe me, baby”, and here are its lyrics :
Just bribe me, baby
At times when you wan’t it done
Just come to me, I’m the only one
Don’t run around and drive yourself crazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me, baby
You’ve a problem, and I’ve the key
I’ve the glasses that’ll make you see
When everything seems so hazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby
Show me the color of money
It’s so sweet as nectar and honey
It sure gives a boost, it gives speed
Money makes the world go round indeed
Don’t be shy, and grease my palms
For your pain I’ve all the balms
So shake yourself and don’t be lazy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby
Leave it to me, and gimme some graft
Cause I got the guile and I got the craft
Go it alone, and you’ve no chance
I’ll make you sing, and I’ll make you dance
Life is short, you’ve a lot to do
Why bother when you don’t have to ?
Do me a favor, just pass on the gravy
All you’ve to do is just bribe me baby !
Endpiece : The accomplice to the crime of corruption is frequently our own indifference.
- Bess Myerson
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